The Bigger, The Better

17 Jan

The day that I saw it, it was a Tuesday and I had been drinking heavily for a Tuesday. Had I known that on this particular Tuesday I’d be seeing something this large, I would have slowed down on the boxed wine.

I first noticed him staring at me like an owl would watch it’s prey high above the tree tops; fixated, ready, waiting for the moment to strike. I pretended I hadn’t seen him and concentrated harder on the dull conversation I was having with a girl whose boobs were hanging a little too far from her shirt. She was going on and on about her recent boob implants. Right about the time she began describing the difference her implants make during a motorboat, she abruptly stopped to alert me that I was being watched.

Uh, like that dude is totally staring at you.” she said as she nodded in his direction.

Yea, I see. I think he might be that guy from last weekend. I was at a party and flashed my chest to a bunch of frat brothers. I think he probably recognizes me.”

Uninterested by my comment, Boobies continued on with her implant story and I leaned in closer to avoid the boy staring at me. Suddenly, he began walking over in my direction and stood above me and Boobies waiting for a break in our conversation. “May I borrow this little lady for a moment, mam?” He asked Boobies while extending a hand to me.

Um whatever, Yea I guess“. Boobie answered.

Upon taking his hand, he walked to me opposite side of the room where the music wasn’t so loud. I had really hoped he wasn’t part of the flashing last weekend. He couldn’t have remembered them…after all, my boobs were about as large as a pair of fat male’s, they couldn’t have made THAT much of an impression.

He interrupted my thoughts, “I think I have seen you around here before. Maybe another party across town? Or last weekend?”

Um, no I don’t really hang out outside of campus that often, so I doubt it.”

Well, I think you’re pretty and this party is lame. Want to get out of here?”

That actually sounds awesome right now, let me get my stuff.”

I was grateful to be excused from the conversation with Boobies and my drunk confidence was peaking…I needed to make the most of it.

After he drove about 40 minutes he stopped his car in front of an old, red barn. I had no idea who this guy was but for whatever reason I felt comfortable enough to be out in the middle of nowhere with him.

Come with me.” He directed

He led me to a corner of the barn that was covered in leftover piles of hay. I noticed his demeanor immediately change from calm to uncomfortable. His palms and forehead began accumulating beads of sweat and his speech stuttered with every word.

Do you want to see something really big?” he asked me nervously.

Um, ok?” I replied.

He smiled with relief and walked behind a stall door. “I’ll be right back, I just have to get it ready. Stay there.” He disappeared for a few moments, fumbling around. Suddenly he moved the stall door and that’s when I saw it…the biggest thing I’d had ever seen.

My mouth dropped to the floor in shock…like this

Whoa.

Whoa.

IMG_0746

Speechless

Holy Mother of God, what the hell was that?!  I thought to myself. What does he think he’s going to do with that thing and me?

Now, before I continue, I want to be very clear about something. I have never considered myself sheltered; I’m no prude, but I wasn’t expecting to be put in such an awkward situation so suddenly.

I stared at it in amazement. I didn’t even know what to do or how I should react. Part of me was so intrigued, while another part of me was petrified. He could really hurt me with that thing.

Sensing my confusion, he quickly blurted out, “Do you want to touch it? Most people see it and want to touch it.”

I’m not sure…

“Haven’t you done this before?” he questioned

No, I uh, grew up in a suburb outside the city. Suburb-girls don’t get out much. I have pretty strict parents.”

I think you will like touching it. Go ahead, give it a good ol’ stroke, I promise it won’t bite ya.” he joked.

I might have asked him to take me home if I was sober, but I was hammered and didn’t care whether it hurt or gave me some terrible disease, so I inched overly slowly and reached my hand down, “Good God it’s so big!? “

I had no doubt it was the biggest I had ever seen, it must have been some kind of world record.

They really know how to grow them big out here in the country.” I blurted out to break the awkwardness of the situation,  “Have you…have you ever measured it?” I asked.

“Pa and I took out a tape measure one day because Pa had noticed it was strange-looking. If you can believe it, it didn’t break the world record by a long shot. The record is held by a bigger, black one. Them black ones are always big, so no surprise there. But it’s still real impressive for a non-black.”

By this point the size of it had sobered me up and all my liquid courage had disappeared. I could hear my mother’s voice telling me, “Don’t you dare! It’s gross! You’ll get a disease!”
I was suddenly feeling rebellious and started to reach down but hesitated once more. “Are you sure this is ok? I haven’t done this kind of thing before so I am not really sure how to do it right.” I questioned.

It’s easy, I do it myself all the time when I’m bored.” He began to show me by pointing to one end of it. “Start at the base of it and slowly work your way to the tip of the head. It’s that easy.

I closed my eyes and reached my hand down until I felt it. For it’s size, I was actually surprised how soft it was. It tensed up and I could feel it becoming more rigid in my hand. I did exactly as he instructed and started towards the base and then to the top as he had said to do. I repeated the steps again and again while he smiled the whole time. It stopped flexing and inched closer and closer to me. Eventually, the top was touching my stomach.
 
Clearly, I was doing it right and it was pretty easy. The girls in my dorm room had made it sound so much more difficult than it really was.

After we were finished with a little petting and light stroking, I made sure to go inside and wash my hands. It certainly wasn’t clean and left a sticky residue.

Note to self, next time I do that, I am going to need gloves or something but at the time, I really didn’t care because I enjoyed the whole experience. My first experience with the biggest I had ever seen.

As I was dropped off at my dorm room, I thanked my host and told him we should do it again soon.

Next time, I won’t be so scared of it.” I said as I threw him an eye wink. He giggled as he wished me a good night.

That memory will forever be ingrained in my mind. Since that day, I’ve opened up and seen all different types, from black ones, to white ones, ones from Mexico and even some in the park, which is pretty unusual. But none of them compare to the one I saw in the barn that evening.

To this day, the biggest cock I ever saw was that drunken night in the old, red barn.

Scroll down to see the picture of it!!

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What A Beauty

What A Beauty

The Biggest Cock I Ever Saw.

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Part of Finish The Sentence Friday! See more here! Come play with us there!

Janine's Confessions of A Mommyaholic
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15 Responses to “The Bigger, The Better”

  1. donofalltrades January 17, 2014 at 2:18 pm #

    I’m shaking my head at you, Girl Ryan. Lol. A cock joke? Wonderful!

    • rynolexson January 17, 2014 at 2:19 pm #

      Well don, you know cock jokes best. Lol

  2. stephanie2006 January 17, 2014 at 8:11 pm #

    Awesome 🙂 I knew it would be something like that!! Still, so funny!

    • rynolexson January 17, 2014 at 9:53 pm #

      Lol yea a bit predictable I suppose. Next time I’ll just have to post about the real thing and keep the shock value higher. Thanks for reading.

  3. StephaJane January 17, 2014 at 10:54 pm #

    You had me at “boxed wine.”

    • rynolexson January 17, 2014 at 11:01 pm #

      I specialize in drinking full cases of boxed wine

  4. findingninee January 17, 2014 at 11:58 pm #

    HAHA awesome. It sounds like we were pretty freaking similar in college – flashing and riding out to the middle of nowhere with random bar dudes. Most excellent cock play, that girl Ryan.

    • rynolexson January 18, 2014 at 12:27 am #

      Yea I call that one a cock tease 🙂 lol yes I’m sure you and I could share some very great college stories.

  5. Lisa Forever Five Blog January 18, 2014 at 2:23 am #

    Wow, Ryan. Wow. I am just getting to know you, but I think I can say with confidence that you have balls! That was a little more than soft porn and well-played. I am still regretting that I didn’t use the “I once saw the biggest dick” line in my post, but now that I see you’ve covered the issue, I’ll stop complaining. From boobs to cock in 24 hours…that’s what college is all about:). I love that you write stories on your blog. Love it!

    • rynolexson January 18, 2014 at 4:28 pm #

      “I once saw the biggest dick” is still up for grabs. I merely was describing my encounter with the biggest cock aka rooster. Had I know that my rooster encounter would spark so many vivid images, I guess I would have changed the wording…a stroke or two. 🙂

      Thanks for the blog love!!

  6. Jen January 18, 2014 at 4:10 am #

    OK Lady! You had me going, and then I wondered where you were going but I never thought you were going there!
    This was freaking hysterical and I hope your college friends read it!

    • rynolexson January 18, 2014 at 4:31 pm #

      LOL. I wasn’t sure where I was going either, it just happened.

      Wine can do wonders for my FTSF posts

      Thanks!

  7. bensbitterblog January 19, 2014 at 6:53 am #

    Dang it! I totally thought it was going to be a horse. I was so close,but not at all.

    • rynolexson January 19, 2014 at 3:24 pm #

      No way, that was a bad guess. Horses are naturally large, and hefty creatures. Plus they don’t tense up and leave sticky residue after stroking. It’s had to be a rooster all the way.

      • bensbitterblog January 20, 2014 at 3:07 pm #

        My guessing skills are second to everyone. One time I was supposed to guess the circumference of the earth and I guessed 6.

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