Archive | July, 2013

The Awkward Finalists are…

23 Jul

Thank you every one for your participation in the Awkward Photo Contest!

Your entries were not only entertaining, but seeing your awkward photos made me feel better about myself, so thank you.

Just to re-cap…

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Thanks to our friends at Easy Canvas our winner will receive a FREE 8×10 picture canvas of their choice!

AND just for entering…all participants will receive a 60% off coupon at Easy Canvas…and 60% goes a long way because they have FREE SHIPPING..who doesn’t love free shipping?

 

Voting Rules:

1. View All the photos

2. Enter your vote in the Poll below

3. Voting Ends on Friday, July 26th

So, let’s get to it…Envelope Please…And Your Awkward Finalists Are…

1. “Dude, Smell my finger”

gross finger

2. “Baby wants to know…what the hell is with the red hat?”

Baby wants to know what the hell's with the hat

3. “Little Woman, BIG Chair”big chair

4. “Coolio and the White-Gang”rycolas

5. “Forest Groupies”

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6. “Bundle? WE ALL BUNDLE”Family Pic

Vote below on the poll!

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I’m An Award Winning Blogger!

19 Jul

Liebster-Award

The Liebster award is for NEW bloggers. It’s a way to say, Hey, we know you just started your blog which is why nobody reads it-but hang in there, someone thinks its special.

Well, thank you Marissa from Front Porches and Candlelight for being that someone, I’m truly honored. Marissa described my blog as, “Sometimes raunchy, always funny” and Marissa, I couldn’t of said it any better myself.  Honestly, I’m actually shocked to know that someone reads this shit…you must be as twisted as I am. Marissa is a super-duper blogger who has TWO blogs; one for writing and one for photography. Plus, shes exotic (shes from Panama).

Now, I believe I have to fulfill some requirements in order to officially accept this stellar award so here we go…

11 Random Things about That Girl Ryan

1. I’ve lived in 4 states

2. My belly-button is an innie-outtie (I know your jealous, get over it)

3. I could live off of sushi and white wine (really just wine, but I don’t want to sound like an alcoholic)

4. My plan in life is to be a famous comedic writer. My second plan is to start my own business and my third plan, if all else fails, is to be a stripper.

5. I hate wearing thongs

6. The thought of chewing on a paper napkin always makes me cringe

7. I should have grown up in the 60’s

8. I believe in aliens

9. This is my special physical talent: (I have yet to meet anyone that can do it-I’ll give $10 to the person who can)

photo

10. I have a soft spot in my heart for Senior Citizens and the midget from Game of Thrones.

11. My weird attraction: Vince Vaughn

Questions Given to Me:

  1. Beer or wine or neither? Definitely Wine
  2. Favorite movie and why? Hunger Games. I want to be Katniss and make-out with Peeta.
  3. If you could have a whole day to yourself, how would you spend it? Shopping-Drinking-Laughing ALL Day
  4. Greatest regret?  Being Shy
  5. Biggest accomplishment? Sticking to something…this blog!
  6. What’s your first thing people notice about you? My smile or my ass, which ever one is facing the same direction.
  7. Guilty pleasure? Smoking cigarettes (I know its bad! That’s why they call it GUILTY pleasure!!)
  8. Finish this sentence: I hate it when _____People give fake hugs!
  9. What was your first job? Waitress at Stewart’s Rootbeer
  10. If there was a quote you could live by, what would it be? “It’s never too late to be what you might have been”- I forget who said that.
  11. Favorite take-out food? Sushi

And The Nominees Are…..

1. I am Who I Am: Funny and deep all in the same line! This blogger has it all…I love reading this blog, because its thought provoking. Plus, we think alike 🙂

2. Mental in the Midwest: Just found MaMa’s blog recently and love her honesty. Keep it up!

Questions for Nominees…

1. Cats or Dogs?

2. Biggest Pet Peeve?

3. Weird habit?

4. Secret Talent?

5. Stuck on an island with Oprah or Barbara Walters? Why?

6. Why do you blog?

7. Favorite invention?

8. Most embarrassing moment?

9. Whats the weirdest thing that makes you laugh?

10. Team Edward or Team Jacob? (this could be a deal breaker for some people)

11. What’s one suggestion you would make for That Girl Ryan (blogger to blogger)

The Rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and include a link back to their blog.
  • List 11 random facts about yourself.
  • Answer the 11 questions given to you.
  • Create 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate.
  • Choose bloggers with 200 or fewer followers to nominate and include links to their blogs.
  • Go to each bloggers’ page and let them know you have nominated them

Congrats again and have fun with this!!

*Contest ALERT* Free Prizes!!

17 Jul
photo(2)

80’s Day At School…Or Was It?

CALLING ALL AWKWARD PHOTOS

Whose up for a good Ol contest?! Especially when I’m giving away A PRIZE! All I’m asking for is some “Awkward Family” photos!!!

THE CONTEST

For Bloggers and Readers

Email thatgrlryan@gmail.com 1-2 awkward photos of your family, friends or YOU! Make sure to attach a quick caption of the picture in your email along with your name (username is fine). Please send ALL SUBMISSIONS BY SUNDAY JULY 21ST.

I will pick 3 entries as my finalists and allow all of YOU to pick the winner. The finalists will have four days to gain as many votes on Thatgirlryan.com. ALL voting will begin on Tuesday July 23rd and end on Friday, July 26th.

Winner will be announced On Monday July 29th!!

canvas_photos_logo

Thanks to our friends at Easy Canvas our winner will receive a FREE 8×10 picture canvas of their choice!

AND just for entering…all participants will receive a 60% off coupon at Easy Canvas…and 60% goes a long way because they have FREE SHIPPING..who doesn’t love free shipping?

Anyone can enter…anyone can win…pass on the contest… and let the awkwardness begin!

Of course I had to share some of my own…in case you needed some inspiration…

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This is my sister and surprisingly she grew up to be a decent human being despite her “I want to kill you in your sleep” hairstyle.

photoHow Cute…sibling photo….IN A GRAVEYARD…AWKWARD?

photo(3)Good God, So Glad the 80’s Are Over.

My Mother Looks Like the Bride of Frankenstein and I Wasn’t Too Far Behind.

photo(4)

“If You Just Smile, I Wouldn’t Have To Strangle You”

photo(5)

Like Mother, Like Daughter

photo(6)

I don’t know what’s more disturbing…my mother’s hand placement or the fact that my father doesn’t seem bothered.

Thanks Mom and Dad for the scarring.

9293091973_c740eaf5ef_o signs

A Letter To The Mayans

12 Jul

2012_prediction

Dear Mayans,

I am a bit upset with you…regarding your theories about 12/21/2012…you remember…the end of the Mayan Calendar?

Yea, so about that….I just want you to know that I was fully prepared for the worst and got nothing.

Buckets of water were stocked in my basement, a zombie machete was purchased in case of an outbreak AND all my family members, including my dogs, had hazmat suits.

I took your theory so seriously that at work, I was deemed, “The Apocalypse Girl”. Every day my co-workers would gather around my desk to hear all about the 2012 predictions. And now, because you lied…they just all think I’m out of my mind. Great career reputation to have…

I even argued with all the non-believers out there…standing up on street corners preaching about the end of days…yelling at random pedestrians in the streets…holding up signs in the subway…shit got serious.

Well now all that was for nothing…because it’s July and the earth is still turning. There were no zombies, aliens or nuclear warfare. All this Mayan prediction had to show for itself was a bunch of bad “End of the World” movies and news about trashy celebrities who shouldn’t be having babies.

This is the real world tragedy

This is the real world tragedy

Shame on You Mayans…shame. on. you. Now you look like a clan of loonies, making all those sacrifices and building years worth of pointless stone structures.

Idiots.

How does it feel to know that your only claim to fame will be slutty versions of your Mayan outfits on Halloween this year?!

I was looking forward to having a post-apocalyptic life. There were just so many pluses to living in a non-civilized world, so many possibilities.

Like…..

burningbra

No BRAS!

Never Having To Wear A Bra Again-Like Ever

I hate bras, I hate wearing them. I started to give all my bras away or burn them when my husband was sleeping knowing I wouldn’t need them after the Apocalypse. My ta-tas even grew a size bigger out of pure excitement of knowing they would never be caged again.

A New Life Of UN-Employment

Who doesn’t want to be a professional Hunter and Gatherer for the rest of their life? I sure do!

In preparation, I had already drafted my “out of office” email at work.

“I will be the out of the office due to the Mayan 2012 prediction and will not be returning to work anytime soon.

If you need immediate assistance…you’re shit out of luck.”

Best,

That Girl Ryan

Hygiene Wouldn’t Be Necessary

Can’t tell you how much enthusiasm I had knowing that bathing was soon to be “optional”. Look, I’m lazy and trying to keep up with beauty tactics can be exhausting. Remember how much you hated painting your face before those ridiculous Mayan rituals? Well, imagine doing that every day AND plucking all the hair from your body…who said grooming was a luxury?

Sure they look dirty...but just imagine the smell of their breath?!

Sure they look dirty…but just imagine the smell of their breath?!

Money

The entire world would be poor together. No more cash, no more credit and best of all, NO MORE TAXES! I had actually planned on calling up Mitt Romney just so I could ask him how it felt to be part of the 47%?

Welcome to the dark side, Mitt.

Mitt FU 47 percent

Honestly, whose got an issue with being lazy?

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Guilt-Free Lazy Days

Unless your homeless, sick or unemployed, laying around all day is unacceptable. This was my one shot to do nothing but sleep and eat Little Debbie Cakes until my pants busted open…because let’s face it, in a doomsday scenario, the real advantage is body fat and rest.

Life would be simple

There are so many choices and decisions we all must face in life;

Should I post this selfie on Facebook?

Will my IPhone look good in this purse?

Do these clothes make me look fat?

Jesus Christ, life is exhausting! I believe in some twisted way, most of humanity was hoping for an Apocalypse in 2012. Not hoping for thousands of people to die, but just to make life simple again.

In a world where your entire purpose is to survive, you could care less if Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are really happy together. (But seriously, they have six kids, they can’t be, right?).

Whatever it is…I just don’t know how I will be able to get over this disappointment…the disappointment of knowing that now I have to pay off my student loans.

Mayans, I hope you understand the chaos your calendar has brought to my life….but on a positive note, Party City finally released the “Slutty Mayan” costume for October.

Sincerely,

Your Little Mayan fan

imagesmaycald

This post has been entered into the FIRELANDS Contest!! To Enter, click the details!!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/daily-prompt-singular/

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