The Publicist and I are really big fans of the show, Sons of Anarchy. Not only is Charlie Hunnam ridiculously ravenous and we would love to squeeze his ever so present naked ass, but the show has everything you could want to keep you occupied; violence, drama and terrible acting.
Ever wonder why you keep watching this show? So do we. And even though Kurt Sutter does a great job of wrapping up the plots of each and every season, we still have very valid questions; questions that keep us glued to this overly-dramatic, overly-corny FX series….
1. How does Jax keep his white, (UN-stylish) shoes so clean?
For a man who works in a body shop, drives a motorcycle and kills at least 3 people an episode…HOW are his shoes ALWAYS white?
What shoe cleaner does he use? Where can we get some?
2. Does Jax ever wash his hair?
It’s always greasy…like really freaking greasy.
3. Why are we so in love with Nero?
He is a Mexican gangster with some shady friends, runs a prostitution ring and dates Gemma, but we freaking love him!
4. Do Jax and Tara ever have sex?
They probably didn’t even do it in this episode either!
No wonder Tara is wound up so tight, the girl needs a one-way ticket to pound-town.
5. Is it us or is Gemma getting sexier?
Season 1
VS.
season 6
Chest scar, terrible hair dye and wrinkly skin…Gemma went from a 6 in season 1, to a 10 in season 6.
6. Seriously though guys, does Jax ever take a shower?
7. What was with D.A Patterson taking off her wig and saying, “Time to go hood sister“. That was some ghetto shit.
Thank god she got rid of that wig, it was hideous.
8. When is Uncer going to die?
Is that mean? But seriously, he got so creepy.
9. Why do they say, “Jesus Christ” so much?
Jesus Christ, chill out SAMCRO.
10. Fun fact: Did you know the writer of the show plays Otto? So why did he want his character to get raped in the first episode? What’s that about?
Weird.
11. Will Bobby ever find love?
That belly, that beard, that heavy breathing…the real question is… how is Bobby still single?
12. What does Tara actually do? Didn’t she get fired?
Just go on unemployment…Jesus Christ.
13. Does Teller-Morrow Auto body really make any money?
That be last place in Charming I’d take my car for a tune-up.
14. What is the deal with Ron Pearlman’s head? It’s not normal!
Ron’s head vs. Normal Sized head
Wait, is he even human?
I think not.
Seriously, his head is becoming a distraction
Hey, wait, I googled “Ron Pearlman’s head” and found this…
Ron Pearlman played this character in the 80’s version of The Beauty and The Beast…I think Big-Headed Ronnie is trying to tell us something…
The missing link
15. Remember when Nero gave Gemma two cockatoo birds? And she named them after his dead sister, Carla? When did the Cockatoos turn into crows? And what is with the birds!?
Other people notice it too!
16. What’s the point of Wendy (Abel’s Mom)? Why did they name her Wendy? Can’t they just leave Wendy alone?
Stop trying to make Wendy happen!
17. Will Jax get Thomas’s name tattooed on his right boob?
Dirty or recently showered, I can’t tell.
18. If Juice is half black, why does he have those TERRIBLE tribal tattoo’s on the side of his head?
Is that a black-thing?
19. Why do they have a Chinese Mafia in Sons of Anarchy? Are they even that intimidating? Is that even a real thing? 
21. Is it weird to want the Sons of Anarchy vest for Christmas?
Because we really want one… 
23. Why does everyone in Sons of Anarchy have terrible Hair?!
Ew. Ew. Ew. Bald.
25. How does Jax make all these brilliant negotiations with law-enforcement?
I’ll deliver the Irish for immunity
Shit, we have boobs and STILL can’t get out of speeding tickets
26. Does anyone REALLY want to be an Old Lady?
Ripping someone’s tits off? That sounds like way too much work.
27. Why is the weather in Charming always nice? Never too hot, never too cold.
The sun suits him well.
28. Why do they insist on always putting some cheesy reflection rock song at the end of each episode?
29. Does anyone else think that Piney was totally an unnecessary character? Besides being one of the “Originals”…what did he do besides carry his oxygen tank around?
30. Why do the character’s still have flip-phones? Isn’t it time for a Smart-Phone upgrade?
Maybe they could prevent SAMCRO problems with some reliable, working cell-phones.
31. Who do you think will be the new Tara?
A. Wendy the Junkie
Shes a beauty
B. The secret “Old Lady”, Margaret Murphy
C. Wayne- unless of course he finally dies
32. Now I know this season finale stabbed you in the heart or should I say, in the back of the head…Was that too soon? But if you watched last night’s episode, you are DEFINITELY asking yourself these two questions:
WHY, KURT, WHY?
AND
What the hell is going to happen next season?
Jesus Christ, just relax Brotha!
SAMCRO will be sure to return with corny rock songs, terrible acting and a scheming plot you can’t resist.
Men of Mayhem Lovers,
That Girl Ryan & The Publicist
That Girl Ryan 
So I guess I “liked” this out of habit because I’ve never seen a single second of this show that I’m aware and can’t believe I read the entire post even. I guess I was hoping that you and publicist would throw in a home movie where you reenact how you wanted last night’s episode to end. Silly me.
Well #1. Watch this shit now, its so awesome.
#2. I gave you a custom photoshop picture.
I told you that videos require endless amounts of time and work. We have a video coming up soon, just gotta make some time to shoot it. don’t you worry, video debut is coming up.
Lol. Ok. Assuming you don’t lose me in the meantime with more posts about stuff that old men don’t understand. Geez.
I have at least heard of this show. Somebody else was talking about Breaking Bad and my eyes glossed over pretty quickly. I’m not a big fan of tv shows I guess.
Well, you should be. TV shows rule my life and lives of my people. and by people I mean me, Boy Ryan and my one friend-the Publicist.
BTW-i sent you an email with a stellar idea.
you are too funny, keep it up!
Every single time someone says “Jesus Christ” i just can’t help but giggle…
It will never mean the same ever again!
Good list. My only real annoyance with the show is how they say Jesus Christ and “Shit” SOOO much. Seriously the writer needs to expand his vocabulary.
Theres also two of your questions easily answered.
19. Its called the Triad, and/or Yakuza
27. Is because Central CA IS always sunny and nice. Warm during the day, cool at night. Only rains a few days a year, and is only “too hot” a few days of the summer. Though if youve ever lived on the east coast or the south you would hardly think CA is hot.
Yes, agreed…throwing in some new vocabulary would be a good idea for the writer. LOL
HA! i love that you answered two my questions, thanks for that 🙂
It seems like you dont grasp what is happening in the show, or don’t understand the storyline. Seems like you are a fan, but a lot of stuff goes over your head. I disagree with most of your thoughts. SOA is some of the best drama on TV ever, without a doubt. Sutter is just brilliant.
Hey, I love SOA! But you have to agree that some of the story lines/acting and writing could be tightened up just a tad… 🙂
At least we agree that Sutter is an awesome guy.
Jax has “Thomas” tattooed on the under side of his left arm… In reference to #17
I missed that tat! Thanks, now we know he loves both of his kids 🙂
I always try to find the most awesome Jesus Christ in each episode. The best one to date was said by Bobby in season 2. Right after Tig admitted to Opie that he shot Donna. I swear it’s the best one. Also, Gemma whispers so much!!! Speak up lady.
We could have a study group off this show and all that they do. Plus its wierd such a firecracker like gemma would whisper