Tag Archives: sons of anarchy questions

Every Question You Ever Had About Sons of Anarchy

11 Dec

The Publicist and I are really big fans of the show, Sons of Anarchy. Not only is Charlie Hunnam ridiculously ravenous and we would love to squeeze his ever so present naked ass, but the show has everything you could want to keep you occupied; violence, drama and terrible acting.

Ever wonder why you keep watching this show? So do we. And even though Kurt Sutter does a great job of wrapping up the plots of each and every season, we still have very valid questions; questions that keep us glued to this overly-dramatic, overly-corny FX series….

1. How does Jax keep his white, (UN-stylish) shoes so clean?

JaxShoesFor a man who works in a body shop, drives a motorcycle and kills at least 3 people an episode…HOW are his shoes ALWAYS white?

What shoe cleaner does he use? Where can we get some?

2. Does Jax ever wash his hair?

meoi63-b781035602z.120121207125051000gv81bhsts.1

It’s always greasy…like really freaking greasy.

3. Why are we so in love with Nero?

Sons-of-Anarchy-Season-6-Episode-5-The-Mad-King-7

He is a Mexican gangster with some shady friends, runs a prostitution ring and dates Gemma, but we freaking love him!

4. Do Jax and Tara ever have sex?

Jax-Tara-sons-of-anarchy-17768062-1280-720

They probably didn’t even do it in this episode either!

No wonder Tara is wound up so tight, the girl needs a one-way ticket to pound-town.

5. Is it us or is Gemma getting sexier?

Season 1

Season 1

VS.

10431705-large

season 6

Chest scar, terrible hair dye and wrinkly skin…Gemma went from a 6 in season 1, to a 10 in season 6.

6. Seriously though guys, does Jax ever take a shower?

Screen-Shot-2013-10-23-at-1.54.58-PM-300x200

7. What was with D.A Patterson taking off her wig and saying, “Time to go hood sister“. That was some ghetto shit.

cchsurhzThank god she got rid of that wig, it was hideous.

8. When is Uncer going to die?

uncerIs that mean? But seriously, he got so creepy.

9. Why do they say, “Jesus Christ” so much?

download Jesus Christ, chill out SAMCRO.

10. Fun fact: Did you know the writer of the show plays Otto?  So why did he want his character to get raped in the first episode? What’s that about?

kurt-sutter-sons-of-anarchy-thumb-350xauto-33671Weird.

11. Will Bobby ever find love?

sons-of-anarchy-mark-boone-juniorThat belly, that beard, that heavy breathing…the real question is… how is Bobby still single?

12. What does Tara actually do? Didn’t she get fired?

c005b6e3-7f1c-425f-aced-e8f6375e887e_SoA_607_Sweet_Vaded_0524Just go on unemployment…Jesus Christ.

13. Does Teller-Morrow Auto body really make any money?

IMG_7107That be last place in Charming I’d take my car for a tune-up.

14. What is the deal with Ron Pearlman’s head? It’s not normal!

Ron’s head vs. Normal Sized head

Not Human

Wait, is he even human?

I think not.

I think not.

Seriously, his head is becoming a distraction

Hey, wait, I googled “Ron Pearlman’s head” and found this…

Ron-Perlman-in-Beauty-and-the-Beast

Ron Pearlman played this character in the 80’s version of The Beauty and The Beast…I think Big-Headed Ronnie is trying to tell us something…

The missing link

The missing link

15. Remember when Nero gave Gemma two cockatoo birds? And she named them after his dead sister, Carla? When did the Cockatoos turn into crows? And what is with the birds!?

Snap7

Other people notice it too!

16. What’s the point of Wendy (Abel’s Mom)? Why did they name her Wendy? Can’t they just leave Wendy alone?

download (1)Stop trying to make Wendy happen!

17. Will Jax get Thomas’s name tattooed on his right boob?

6a00d8341cf11753ef0120a5f00a8e970c-800wi

Dirty or recently showered, I can’t tell.

18. If Juice is half black, why does he have those TERRIBLE  tribal tattoo’s on the side of his head?

Is that a black-thing?

sons-of-anarchy-hands-juice-eliJuices_head_tattoo

19. Why do they have a Chinese Mafia in Sons of Anarchy? Are they even that intimidating? Is that even a real thing? Screen-Shot-2013-11-13-at-10.21.19-AM

21. Is it weird to want the Sons of Anarchy vest for Christmas?

Because we really want one… SOAvest 23. Why does everyone in Sons of Anarchy have terrible Hair?!

Ew. Ew. Ew. Bald.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Bald.

25. How does Jax make all these brilliant negotiations with law-enforcement?

I'll deliver the Irish for immunity

I’ll deliver the Irish for immunity

Shit, we have boobs and STILL can’t get out of speeding tickets

26. Does anyone REALLY want to be an Old Lady?

tumblr_lsxttkiL7o1qa82d1o8_r2_250

tumblr_lsxttkiL7o1qa82d1o9_r2_250Ripping someone’s tits off? That sounds like way too much work.

27. Why is the weather in Charming always nice? Never too hot, never too cold.

The sun suits him well.

The sun suits him well.

28. Why do they insist on always putting some cheesy reflection rock song at the end of each episode?

6a00d83451d69069e201157191d73c970b

29. Does anyone else think that Piney was totally an unnecessary character? Besides being one of the “Originals”…what did he do besides carry his oxygen tank around?

William-Lucking

30. Why do the character’s still have flip-phones? Isn’t it time for a Smart-Phone upgrade?

SOA-Jax-6x10Maybe they could prevent SAMCRO problems with some reliable, working cell-phones.

31. Who do you think will be the new Tara?

A. Wendy the Junkie

Shes a beauty

Shes a beauty

B. The secret “Old Lady”, Margaret Murphy

Sons of Anarchy 2x08 Potlatch

C. Wayne- unless of course he finally dies

Unser_2012_Promo

32. Now I know this season finale stabbed you in the heart or should I say, in the back of the head…Was that too soon? But if you watched last night’s episode, you are DEFINITELY asking yourself these two questions:

WHY, KURT, WHY?

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AND

What the hell is going to happen next season?

SOAquestion

Jesus Christ, just relax Brotha!

SAMCRO will be sure to return with corny rock songs, terrible acting and a scheming plot you can’t resist.

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