This is an original drawing
I never understood the stick family phenomenon.
You know, those stupid family conglomerates stuck on the back of minivans?
I live in a typical suburbia environment where minivans rule the road. I know I’m getting close to home when I start to see the plethora of stick people dance across my line of vision.
The population of my town has been reduced to stick figures and no one seems to care.
This might sound crazy but I think there is a competition going on with this stick family obsession.
The more stick people that populate your back windshield the better! Let the stick kid breeding competition begin!
I frequently ask myself, where did this begin?
I think I also found the answer:
America Loves Stickers
I saw a van the other day that had 9 stick kids.
Yes, 9.
Why would you want to tell people you have 9 children? When I see you have 9 children, it makes me want to drive up next to you and scream, “Stop breeding stick people”.
Plus, if you drive a minivan I already assumed you have a mass litter of kids.
The irony of the whole thing was that this particular minivan had an additional bumper sticker that read,
“Proud supporter of my neighborhood watch program”
Well, you’re not doing the neighborhood watch any favors by inviting every single child molester in the area to follow you home. Basically your family decal is putting your litter of stick kids in danger. While you think it’s cute to have stickers on the back windshield, to a pedophile you are saying, “Hey, we have kids! And lots to spare! Come by and join the fun!”
The sticks have gone to your brain.
If I were to post my family stick status, I would have a mommy stick, daddy stick and baby stick. I would also include two doggie sticks, one cat stick and one rabbit stick.
People would officially know that I am an animal hoarder. This is why I am not a stick fanatic.
The only benefit to this stick family obsession is that it can be a great source of gossip for the rest of us…and who doesn’t love a little gossip?
Just last week, I found out that my daughter’s classmate has TWO dads.
How?
I saw this:
Dad-to-Dad Parenting
And then I noticed a change in my neighbor’s stick family situation.
She added an additional stick child (she is expecting) and removed her stick husband (they are getting a divorce).
The big X just gave it away.
You can learn a lot when you pay attention.
Shockingly, this trend has caught on in non-suburban cities like Newark too!
Typically in these parts of town, I expect to see death decals:
Debbie Downer Stickers
However I was presently surprised to see this:
Hard Core Jail Time
Baby mama has custody of the kids while baby daddy does jail time…O, and they have a dog.
Honest, entertaining and to the point.
I love it.
But the fun doesn’t end there, I am starting to see some really creative stick family decals that I think are worth mentioning…
Everyone has a little family dysfunction
Dysfunction at it’s finest
Why be stick people when you could be a family of tight-ass chickens?
Even the Single-Cat Lady wanted to partake in the fun!
Any takers?
Proud and Loud Mormons
And finally, what’s a family without a little passive-aggressiveness?
Those damn hoes wreck everything
I will never understand the point of this trend.
Maybe it’s along the lines of putting reindeer antlers on cars at Christmas time. Or maybe it’s a deep seeded need for humans to feel validated by the use of stickers; anyone remember Kindergarten Star Charts?
No, that’s not a memory we would like to re-visit, I agree.
So many sticks, so little time…
That Girl Ryan 