Hashtag #Hoes A Video Blog

7 Feb

Before you watch the video, I’d like to give a brief background on the Hashtag #HOE.

Definition of a hashtag hoe: a female who overuses hashtags as picture captions on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Why do they do this? So strangers can look at their pictures.

You all know who these people are and if you don’t, you are most likely one of them. If you are one of them, shame on you and for the love of God, stop it. Most hashtag hoes post the most ridiculous pictures and frankly the pictures only require one caption….#Why? Why are you publicly embarrassing yourself?

The publicist and I have explored a variety of hashtag hoes and separated them into 3 categories; #GirlsWhoLift, #InstaChefs and #TBT (Throw Back Thursday).

#GirlsWhoLift: Ahhhh, the gym whores, personally my favorite type of hashtagger. Typically gym whores are hot, I will give them that but my god, if you are that hot why are you posting half naked selfies on social media EVERY OTHER DAY!? How much attention do you require???! I mean it’s entirely unbelievable to us viewers that you actually work out with your hair down, lets be real. Are you really working out, or are you building up a portfolio for a porn audition? I can never tell. Please sister, put your clothes back on do a real workout. We all know #RealGirlsWorkOutInClothes. Right now, none of us are admiring your gym progress, we are just down right embarrassed for your mother. #IamTotallyJudgingYou.

Screenshot_2014-02-03-13-09-41

At least she shaved her armpits. #Kudos

#InstaChef: Some instachefs snap pictures of every single meal they consume on a daily basis. Have you seen spaghetti before? Have you seen peanut butter and jelly? Of course you have so who gives a flipping shit about what it looks like in an instagram filter? Half your hashtags don’t even relate to food! What does #Love have to do with bread? What does #Home have to with meat?  If you are going to crowd my feed with your stupid food pictures, I might just leave a comment about how many calories that meal really is…hey fatty you know that’s like 3000 calories per serving? You might want to go to the gym, workout with your hair down and then tell us how you burned off those calories.

Bread?!! OMG how creative!

Bread?!! OMG how creative!

The #TBT Junkie-Throw Back Thursdays should have picture guidelines. If you are posting a picture from the day before that is not considered a “Throw Back“. Throw backs pictures are from your awkward teenage stages in life so the rest of us can laugh and make fun of how ugly you were, not from your underwear shopping spree yesterday (Yes, someone actually did that).

TBT? Na, just another half naked selfie.

TBT? Na, just another half naked selfie.

This hashtag rant couldn’t end with just a written lecture…we brought it to a whole new level by creating a video. Our personal speculation of how hashtag hoes go about creating a classic hashtag picture post.

Rest assure, we made a point NOT to leave #One #Fucking #Thing #Out.

Enjoy Bitches.

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38 Responses to “Hashtag #Hoes A Video Blog”

  1. Janine Huldie February 7, 2014 at 3:25 am #

    Definitely left me speechless here about the hashtag junkies of Instagram. I admit I am guilty sometimes, but loved your spin on it. And thank you for the awesome prompt, as well as co-hosting with us. So happy to have you joining us!! 🙂

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 2:33 pm #

      Anytime, I have a ton of fun with the FTSF group! Thanks for checking it out.

  2. donofalltrades February 7, 2014 at 4:44 am #

    Girl Ryan and Danielle…this was funny as fuck and I loved it! I’m fairly drunk right now, so it may not matter, but this really was funny. Nom nom nom??? lol!! Fuck you both for being so funny.

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 2:34 pm #

      lol so are you saying its funny because you are drunk or that we are just funny 🙂 I fully intend on seeing a video blog from you one day. Even if we all have to watch it drunk.

  3. findingninee February 7, 2014 at 5:20 am #

    Fuck. This was awesome. I think it will go viral. How the hell did you DO this? ‘Cause freaking awesome.

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 2:34 pm #

      lol thanks! It took days of work but I think it was worth it. This is what happens when you have too much free time. #NoLife

      • donofalltrades February 7, 2014 at 2:44 pm #

        Hahahaha, *chipmunk voice* “hashtag nolife, hashtag loser (well said little girl! hashtag doofus hashtag Girl Ryan will grow to be very much like Kristi one day hashtag at least you both know that cool donofalltrades guy though!

  4. Christina Morley (@tinarobmorley) February 7, 2014 at 6:03 am #

    Well, I don’t have Instagram, so I haven’t had to put up with this. Obviously, some people have a serious deficit when it comes to attention seeking. Thanks for co-hosting the FTSF blog hop!

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 2:37 pm #

      Totally recommend getting an instagram solely to laugh at these pictures…it can be entertaining. Clearly us young people have attention seeking issues. I worry about our country when these hashtag hoes grow up 🙂 Thanks for having me co-host!

  5. Real. Life. Parenting. February 7, 2014 at 1:58 pm #

    #CrackingUp!! #Jealous of your #editing #skills! #Sharing #Awesomesauce #Win

    This was so good!! I need to start hashtagging the shit out of my #SelfiesThatEmbarrassYourTeen so that I get more people looking at them. I wonder if I should just tag with all the gym rat stuff too … you know, to increase views! 😉

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 2:38 pm #

      Thank you! Yes, it’s imperative that you include a variety of hashtags to increase the views on each of your photos. Your facebook friends are not enough, you must broadcast these selfies to the world. #Attention is #Key.

  6. jamie@southmainmuse February 7, 2014 at 3:59 pm #

    I obviously am following a lame group on social media. Loved the video. #clever #funny #Ineedtogoworkout

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 6:36 pm #

      Yea, you need to follow some eccentric hashtaggers…life gets a little less boring with them on your social media feed. Thanks for watching it!

  7. bensbitterblog February 7, 2014 at 6:15 pm #

    One time I deliberately put a picture from the week before, but it was ironically. I am pretty sick of people always using the stupid hashtags. I thought that after Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake did their skit about it ridiculousness it would end, but people probably thought it was funny and kept doing it.

  8. bensbitterblog February 7, 2014 at 6:30 pm #

    By the way, I have to watch the video later. I don’t want to watch it while my boss is lurking behind me.

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 6:32 pm #

      You are in for a treat.

      • bensbitterblog February 8, 2014 at 8:23 pm #

        It’s like I just had ice cream with cool whip on top. So much of a treat that I had to watch it again.

  9. bensbitterblog February 7, 2014 at 7:28 pm #

    How did you guys replicate my voice like that? Awesome video. It must have taken you a while and by the way, your daughter…so cute. Please don’t let her become a hashtagger.

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 7:30 pm #

      It took forever lol. Shit, I had a feeling you sound like a chipmunk!!

      Never, that kid will get an ass beating for taking naked selfies on Instagram

      • bensbitterblog February 9, 2014 at 6:24 am #

        I did a video a while back and it took me forever just so I could get people to tell me that the other people were in the video were great, but I wasn’t so good. Never do that again.

        No joke about the instagram. Let’s hope it doesn’t exist when they grow up.

  10. Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. February 7, 2014 at 8:34 pm #

    I don’t even know where to begin- I love this SO much! I am so lame I hadn’t heard of any of these except #TBT- and your “last summer” photo one cracked me up. I laughed so hard during this video- I was hysterical at “Hashtag Look at my FOOD!” How the hell did you do this? It’s like a work of art. Also, I am the shitty FTSF hostess who forgets every. fucking. week to list the co-hostess. Please forgive me- I wasn’t being a jerk, I’m just forgetful. 😦 This was totally worthy of a co-host week.

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 9:00 pm #

      THANK YOU so much! I use IMovie which is a gift and a pain in the ass all at the same time.

      All is forgiven, I haven’t even gotten a chance to start reading other posts yet so I am just as bad a co-host this week! (excuse the horrible grammar in that sentence).

      Thanks so much for watching, you made my day!

  11. canigetanotherbottleofwhine February 7, 2014 at 8:48 pm #

    Ahahaha! I had no idea people do this hashtag thing to that extent. Hilarious! I just joined Instagram about a month ago. I think it’s been about that long since I’ve been back.

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 8:58 pm #

      OMG, you must go search hashtags like #girlswhosquat or #legday on instagram.
      I promise laughter for at least 2 hours if you do this.

  12. Dana February 7, 2014 at 8:55 pm #

    You two should pair up with Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake for the best hash tag skit ever!

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 8:57 pm #

      I have tweeted both to let them know this exact idea. I have yet to hear back…my hopes are high though : )

  13. basicallyb February 7, 2014 at 9:06 pm #

    Hahaha! Most unique & funny video yet. I think what I despise even more than the hashtag is the duck face! Argh!

  14. basicallyb February 7, 2014 at 9:07 pm #

    Definitely the most unique & funniest vlog I’ve seen so far on this link up. What bugs me even more than the hashtag is the duck face!

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 9:18 pm #

      Duck-Face AND Platypus lips…worst ever.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  15. lrconsiderer February 7, 2014 at 9:41 pm #

    #RyanWins #FTSF
    #FunnyVid #WAYcool
    #HashtagHILARIOUS
    #SoGladIDidntTryToHostThis

    • rynolexson February 7, 2014 at 11:23 pm #

      #hahaha #toofunny #youwouldhavebeenjustasgood #thanksforthebloggylove

      • lrconsiderer February 8, 2014 at 5:24 am #

        #SONotAVlogger
        #YoureWelcome
        #WhyDoHashtagsHateGrammar
        #OUCH

  16. Sarah February 8, 2014 at 12:24 am #

    omg this is hilarious!!! I try to follow the fewer than 3 hashtags rule… 🙂 Thanks for the laughs!

    • rynolexson February 8, 2014 at 12:27 am #

      Thanks! Hahaha yea 3 usually is a good rule of thumb. Lol

  17. jasteck February 8, 2014 at 12:50 am #

    I love your video…I laughed all the way through it. I may have to visit again when I need a good belly laugh. Bravo!!

    • rynolexson February 8, 2014 at 12:51 am #

      Belly laughs here are always often and free. Thanks for coming by.

  18. Jen February 8, 2014 at 9:31 pm #

    And the Academy Award for best hashtagumentary goes toooooo RYAN!!!!
    LOL lady! That was awesome. I think you need a VLOG a week FOR SURE!

    • rynolexson February 9, 2014 at 3:36 pm #

      Thanks Jen. My VLogs alert me that I have too much spare time on my hands but it’s good to hear they are worth it lol.

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