Me N0 Rite G0od, a writing style

6 Jan
Photo on 1-5-14 at 2.33 PM

I’m lighting this shit on fire.

I had a thought today while listening to a 2 Chainz song lyric. The lyric said, “”Chain hang to my ding-a-lang, Chain hang to my ding-a-lang“. Never mind the fact these two lines are probably the dumbest two sentences I have heard in a while but more importantly,  2 Chainz is making millions coming up with that crap. Technically rappers can be considered writers, writers who have terrible grammar and no sense of the English language.

We totally have something in common…

Let me just state for the record, I am not entirely illiterate and I do not have a chain that hang to my ding-a-lang, even though the thought of that sounds intriguing. But I Sure Got Some Shitty Ass Grammar skills.  (you see what I did there?)

When I write, I focus on humor and content that drives uncontrollable laughter. Are there technical mistakes that occur? Tons.

* I am not a writer who blogs, I am a blogger who writes.*

Therefore, I have written a disclaimer for all writers who read my blogs.

Dear writers who blog,

Let me first explain that this letter is full of grammatical errors. Let me also explain that the chances of me proof-reading this letter AFTER I have typed it, are slim.  All that I ask is for you to please put aside your anal retentive reading skills for just a moment.

If you read my posts please know….

I still cannot successful spell words like tomorow and wenesday. If spell checker doesn’t catch it, chances are, I won’t either.

Sometimes I make up my own words like, Drunkly.  I’ll use that word in a sentence…Sometimes when I drink too much Tequila, I think to myself, Damn, Ryan you are drunkly. If words like, “Twerking” and “Selfies” are real words, I think Drunkly can certainly be one.  Drunkly is a damn fine word.

Semi-colons are a ton of fun. I constantly put ; where the ; shouldn’t live; because I just; like how they look; on the page;.

My sentences start with conjunctions and end in prepositions. And I think they are the best that they can be.

I also often question the definition of a run on sentence because sometimes I am not even sure it’s really a run on sentence due to the fact that it doesn’t look like a run on sentence but it might be a run on sentence. Is that a run on sentence?

I, love, commas, more, than, chocolate, cake.

I…also…overuse…ellipses…

I discriminate against the because its possessive.

I am aware of the difference between You’re and Your but if I write the phrase, Your a fucktard and you still can’t decipher the difference between “You’re/Your”, well then you’re a fucktard.

I have proof-read this exact sentence 3 times still didn’t find the left out word. Did you find it?

Verb usage is my enemy. It does, did, will, keep me up at night.

While I highly respect the skills of each and every writer who blogs, my style is my own. So with that, writers please continue to use your punctuations correctly. Please continue to use correct subject and verb agreements…and for god’s sake put the ; where it belongs.

The standard of writing is an ever changing landscape. In a world where we speak in #hashtags and abbreviate phrases like BTW and SMH, basic writing rules are a dieing art so I respect those who keep them near and dear.

Maybe one day I will be a blogger turned writer. Maybe I will reconsider burning my grammar book and actually read it. But for now, I will just continue to blog and commit terrible crimes against the English language.

It’s a work in progress.

Long live writing, Long live blogging,

That Girl Ryan

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/08/daily-prompt-style-2/

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19 Responses to “Me N0 Rite G0od, a writing style”

  1. donofalltrades January 6, 2014 at 11:12 pm #

    I wish i had drunkly read this so that my brain didn’t hurt so badly from being able to remember it. Well done though, TGR, you pull off dumbassery better than almost all rappers are able to.

    • rynolexson January 6, 2014 at 11:14 pm #

      It had to be said, I own up to my dumbassery…some people should take my cue.

  2. Shaahid EssWhyDee January 7, 2014 at 2:24 am #

    See. Usually, poor grammar and syntax bugs me (Part of my studies, can’t help it!)… But you are excused since your humour makes up for it!! Love the end – Long live writing, long live blogging! Peace!

    • rynolexson January 7, 2014 at 2:29 am #

      Haha well then that post was for you, friend. I have come to love the saying, Grammar? Spelling? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

      But I understand some people are extremely bothered by it…total freaks.

      • Shaahid EssWhyDee January 7, 2014 at 2:47 am #

        Unfortunately, a lot of my articles I show my frustrations on poor use of grammar! However, I have just enough youthfulness to make poor spelling and grammar seem normal when I’m speaking/messaging with my peers! Lol!

  3. Jolie Michele January 8, 2014 at 4:10 am #

    You are HI-larious. Love it. New follower right here. 😉 Thanks for the love mail, btw. Totally has made my week.

    • rynolexson January 8, 2014 at 3:15 pm #

      I definitely meant to post that as a comment for the world to see, my bad!

      Look forward to your next post! The stolen pants one had me laughing for sure.

      • Jolie Michele January 8, 2014 at 3:33 pm #

        Aww I am happy to have made you laugh, usually I don’t find myself very funny. 🙂

  4. afsheenanjum January 8, 2014 at 6:27 pm #

    meet me 😛 i am also bad in grammar 😛

    • rynolexson January 8, 2014 at 6:29 pm #

      It’s nice to meet you, Me. It’s ok, grammar is a pain in the ass I fully understand. We still have hope as writers. Dream big, that’s what I always say!

  5. findingninee January 13, 2014 at 8:58 pm #

    Ha! I love that you wrote this the way you did, mostly because it made DOAT’s brain hurt and that is funny to me. Also, drunkly is a perfect word and the missing word was and. I’m anal. But I don’t need you to be to think you’re not a fucktard. I’d even say you’re pretty freaking awesomely hilarious and I just can’t bring myself to not add back in the ‘re to your. I did try though.

    • rynolexson January 13, 2014 at 9:26 pm #

      DOAT is the grammar police…can’t stand his annoying corrective tendencies. If he reads this comment, he will point out 30 mistakes, just watch.

      I think you are the first person to actually find the missing word! lol

      Drunkly is my favorite word, I am trying to make it a thing this year. We shall see…

  6. bensbitterblog February 12, 2014 at 8:47 pm #

    People that are guud at Grammar can suk it.

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