The word graduation can be a double edge sword. We live in a generation where we are always on the move, and God forbid for a second we push pause. I’m pretty sure we are convinced the earth will crack. I went through this phase last year to be exact. I thought I NEEDED to move out of my parents’ house ASAP. I remember looking at apartments with That Girl Ryan thinking it would be totally okay to live in a $900/month studio apartment in Morristown with uneven obnoxiously low ceilings and a half kitchen with no oven. This “apartment” was literally a small dumpster.
It would have been a death trap for anyone taller than 5’5” to visit. Ryan had to enter with a helmet. The entrance was a steep staircase, but it happened to be in the middle of the apartment. I could only imagine how many head injuries I would have received due to falling down or up the stairs after coming home from a fun night out on the town or from just being my clumsy self. YIKES!! The girl who I would replace slept on her mattress on the floor in a little nook in which sitting up was not an option. You would have to roll out of bed until you got into the middle of the apartment to stand up and even then the ceiling was still only 3 inches taller than me!!! I feel like there should have been directions on the wall kind of like a how to put out a fire…instead this would be how to get out of bed in the morning. The bathroom was actually on a slant— could you imagine putting on makeup in the morning? My equilibrium would constantly be off. But it’s okay because this shit hole would have been all mine! To think I thought this apartment would have been the promised land…
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?!!?!?!
I probably would have lasted about 3 weeks in there, and 2 would have been spent in a hospital due to falling down the stairs.
Although I know most of you think it is best to move out of your parent’s house ASAP, I wanted to make you aware of some “living at home” perks you might not have considered….they could change your mind.
1. The Fridge and Pantry are always magically full
2. Leftover Paradise
3. They are constantly the life of the party
4. Fully Stocked Laundry Room
5. SO MANY KITCHEN GADGETS
6. FREE WIFI
7. Reliable Handy Man
8. Dishes?!?
9. Endless Supply of Toilet Paper
10. Andrea
11. RENT FREE
12. They are morally obligated to like you
Now I know all of these come across as me being a spoiled brat but in all reality I have been taken off the payroll as Burt and the Boss call it very quickly after graduation. But I cannot thank them enough for actually letting me stay under their roof because without them I would probably be living in that midget apartment. Besides…I have come to realize that these people are actually pretty cool after all. So, to all my upcoming college grads out there…don‘t rush moving out if you can wait. I promise it will all be worth it in the end.
That Girl Ryan 
A man could get used to Girl Ryan free That Girl Ryan posts.
Kidding, of course I love you, Girl Ryan.
I moved out of the house when I was 17, but wouldn’t discourage youngins’ from living rent free in the basement of their parents’ house for as long as possible. Except for my own, of course. They will be out at 18. 18.5 tops.
While you’re living with your parents, it’s a good idea to make lavish purchases like PS4s or new clothes/jewelry or maybe even a car so your dad can be all, “Why the fuck is she living here with us if she has all this money to blow on lavish things? Does she even play with that PS4?” Lol. You should send the PS4 to me if you don’t use it though. Ok, bye now.
You’re so mean Don! I think you just want a guest post offer….it’s ok if you do, I won’t say no.
And I would totally buy a PS4 just to buy it if I lived at home. No brainer.
Ps why were ur comments blocked yesterday on your Buddhist post? I wanted to tell u how much I loved it!
I’m not sure what happened to my post yesterday, but I was able to fix it, if you still want to say nice things about how handsome I am or you know, whatever. Lol.
If you have a guest post idea in mind, let me know. I’ve been sort of out of it blog wise lately so maybe something different will jostle the brain a bit.
Too late, the time for nice comments came and went yesterday.
Trust me I’ve been thinking, I have been anti blog lately too.
What r ur best topics? What do u least like to write about? I want to do one similar to how u and Jules did a while back about dogs vs babies. Loved that
Whatever you think, dear. Jules did all the work on that after I commented about how gay her doodle dog was and still is. I’m open to anything. My best topics? I just write whatever the hell comes to me. I can write about why I think New Jersey sucks even though I’ve never been there and it’s the Garden State so probably isn’t as bad as I think it is.
Hmmmm you got something there… loving the jersey thing…
I’m fist pumping with excitement right now…
Or how even as a paunchy middle aged white man, I’m still cooler than you by far?
Oh, we can record ourselves drinking on our couches separately and see who passes out or acts the fool first! I like anything drinking related.
Lol oooo drinking thing sounds fun. Did u look up drunk history yet? We could record a drunk history post. Or just a drunk writing competition in general?
“Best drunk stream of consciousness post”
I don’t know how comfortable I’d be with a video. That’s not fair anyway since you’re young and attractive and I’m old and not as attractive as I once was. lol. We’ll think of something.
True videos are tough to pull off.
Ok, ok, we shall think away
I’ll stalk your blog a little bit when I have some time and you can do the same. Maybe something will just click.
Good idea. I’ll email u if something sticks
Hoorah!
Someone has to take the Spotlight off of Ryan. 🙂
The PS4 purchase was actually on my list. Totally Kidding. I promise to be moved out within the next year and a half though. Please only judge me slightly.
I have heard nothing but great things about you from Ryan. Mostly her obsession with your blog.
-Danielle
She seems like a spotlight hog for sure.
Good on you for maybe leaving the parents’ house someday. No hurry, I’m sure they enjoy having you. Are you going to get your own blog someday or forever be Girl Ryan’s right hand man? Is she obsessed with my over use of the word fuck or was it the fat guy on the little bike that she couldn’t resist? Lol.
I’m not at liberty to say what the plans are about the blog but you will not be disappointed. It was def a combination of both but mostly the use of the word Fuck.
-Danielle
I usually like to say crap like “back in the day, we left home at five, and we liked it.” But the fact is that it’s much harder to launch these days–way more expensive, and way more challenges and pitfalls. I don’t envy young people. If you can get their parents to put up with you a while longer, it’s the smart thing to do.
As a parent of a college son, I say kudos to the author for being someone your parents will let back in the house, though I think you’re missing out on some great war stories not living in that over-priced shack. Love the pictures. 🙂
Thank you for the comment Piper! I honestly have no idea what I would do without them. They truly are financial lifesavers. I hope your son feels the same way about you!
-Danielle
Agh! Typos. If THEY can get their parents to put up with them a while longer . . .
Love the post. It’s all so true! We’ve been all smooshed together in this house for quite a while now, and there’s never a dull moment.
THANKS!! 🙂 I just read your about me. Woof! I give you a lot of credit!
Free wifi imagine that. She doesn’t do dishes she better learn Lol